allendalepharm #305 - I solemnly declare that there is no winner in this event.
#305 - I solemnly declare that there is no winner in this event.
“It hurts, it hurts, it hurts ————”
From inside the inn room, Chris’s cries for mercy echoed, “I was wrong! I was wrong, Darkness, please stop pinching me!”
It was now the next morning.
The royal capital, after such a tortuous night, had descended into chaos.
After all, the legendary thief, with only two people, had easily broken into the royal palace, effortlessly taking down guards, knights, and powerful adventurers alike, and leisurely snatching a magical item from the princess.
And this was with precautions in place.
The actions of the white-robed and silver-haired youth immediately became the talk of the town, spreading like wildfire throughout the royal capital.
Fortunately, Princess Iris was unharmed; otherwise, the king, currently on the front lines, would surely fly into a rage and return to the palace to severely crack down on the atmosphere in the royal capital.
And now—
Chris was currently suffering a powerful… pinching attack.
“To dare break into the royal palace so easily, you really have a death wish, Chris.”
Darkness’s grip tightened.
Chris wailed in pain, “Darkness, Darkness! Please calm down! I have a legitimate reason for doing this! I’m going to crack, my head is going to crack! …A-Also, why is ZunZun also an accomplice, why doesn’t he have to be punished?!”
Following that—
“Wahhhh! It hurts, it hurts, let go of me, you idiot female knight! Down with violence! Down with violence! Don’t use so much force, my head, my head ahhhh!”
Another victim was added.
The uniquely beautiful ZunZun was dragged down by Chris and couldn’t escape.
Darkness’s grip strength had grown too unnaturally; why was my divine body having no effect? Could this cheat be fake?
And Chris, seeing that ZunZun hadn’t escaped either, even showed a smile while being pinched. It made one wonder if she had developed some strange fetish.
No.
It must be that the two who had made mistakes felt good about suffering the same fate.
Shortly after returning to the inn, Darkness had rushed back as well, and upon seeing the two, she used her Iron Claw Skill without a word to interrogate them.
“Darkness, Darkness! Listen to me! I really didn’t intend to be so flamboyant at first; it was ZunZun who insisted on showing off, deliberately using such an audacious approach. It has nothing to do with me; I was just following orders!”
“Hey, Chris! You’re selling me out!”
ZunZun hadn’t expected her to sell him out so quickly.
“Hmm?”
Darkness grabbed his temples and squeezed hard.
“It hurts, it hurts, it has nothing to do with me! Besides, weren’t you excited too, Chris? You even said you wanted to form a band of thieves for life with me! Were all those words you said lies to me!? To deceive my innocent, pure heart, be careful I’ll cling to you for life!”
“You should go find Yunyun and Megumin for that kind of thing! And I had no choice but to say that! Who told me I lost at rock-paper-scissors and could only let you run wild ahhhh ————”
“Such an important matter was decided by rock-paper-scissors!?”
Darkness’s expression was frighteningly serious.
Their childish decision seemed to have stepped on her landmine… no, perhaps the impact was too great, making her very angry?
“ZunZun! Chris!”
“Here!” x2
The two, who had been slinging mud at each other, were silenced by this cold shout, and Darkness maintained an unprecedentedly angry expression, signaling them to honestly explain the whole story from beginning to end.
And after listening—
“You two are really… why didn’t you tell me? If you had told me properly from the start, you wouldn’t have needed to do such a stupid thing; I would have naturally taken care of it.”
Darkness sighed deeply.
After Chris revealed that Iris possessed a divine necklace that could exchange bodies, she immediately obtained Darkness’s understanding.
After all, that necklace was too dangerous; it could be used to obtain eternal life, and behind it, someone might be secretly plotting against the royal family.
“But that’s not a reason for you not to tell me!”
“Well… it’s not that we didn’t want to, but we couldn’t.”
Chris awkwardly scratched the faint scar on her cheek, signaling ZunZun to tell the story, and after receiving confirmation, she began to explain.
“Iris actually knew about the necklace a long time ago.”
“What?”
“A long time ago, ZunZun asked me to write a letter and send it to Iris—even before Iris got the necklace.”
Darkness was stunned.
She quickly remembered that ZunZun also had the identity of a diviner, so it was reasonable to know that this would happen.
“Then…”
“It was Iris. She insisted on playing a game, making us steal it out.”
“Impossible!”
Hearing this explanation, Darkness’s first reaction was that it was impossible. Iris was a very well-behaved and sensible child; how could she make such a willful request, but—
“Darkness, you were also in the princess’s bedroom at that time, did Iris show any signs of resistance when she saw the thief break in?”
Huh?
Not only was there no resistance, but Iris even threw herself into ZunZun’s arms. At that time, ZunZun was a mysterious figure with an unrecognizable face; unless she knew, how could she be so intimate with a stranger?
“So you understand, Darkness!”
ZunZun stood up and shouted at her, “You, Claire, Rain, and those knights are all just part of our and Iris’s play! …Hey, are you getting excited?”
“I-I’m not!”
Although Darkness’s denial was decisive, her flushed cheeks and slightly trembling body clearly indicated that a certain keyword made her feel good.
This pervert is completely hopeless.
“Breaking into the royal palace in such a grand manner was our fault, but we did it because we thought Iris would like it. Everything went almost as planned along the way, taking advantage of Claire’s conceit, Kyouya Mitsurugi’s simplicity, and you Darkness, you hindering us. In short, we successfully obtained the necklace and completed the activity, but…”
“Someone snatched the peach at the end.”
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ZunZun and Chris looked unwillingly at a certain scumbag whistling innocently in the corner of the inn. If it hadn’t been for his mischief at the end, this gorgeous performance should have ended smoothly and perfectly.
“Kazuma, how did you know we were going to steal the necklace?”
This was the crux of the matter.
Chris hadn’t said anything.
From beginning to end, both the timing and method were led by ZunZun, and Chris hadn’t told anyone else to keep the secret. But in the end, Sato Kazuma still snatched the peach, which made the two angry and confused.
“I didn’t know you were going to steal the necklace.”
“Hmm?”
“I’ve actually been following you the whole time.”
“Hmm???”
It had to be said that Sato Kazuma’s mind worked quickly. After catching Chris in Elroad’s kitchen, he immediately thought of the silver-haired thief that was being talked about all over the royal capital.
And Sato Kazuma, who was unwilling to be driven away by Claire, happened to spot Chris wandering around the street on his way out. The impulsive Sato Kazuma wondered if he should ask her to loot the royal palace, but then he saw Chris heading towards the royal palace.
“So you followed me…”
Chris sighed, holding her forehead.
She was careless. She thought that the adventurers would all be enjoying the banquet in the royal palace; who would have thought that someone would be driven out?
What Sato Kazuma didn’t say was.
He actually guessed that Chris was going to break into the royal palace at night; he planned to follow behind and steal something, then pin the blame on the silver-haired thief… but admitting it would invite scolding, so it was better to remain silent.
“But it’s amazing that you weren’t discovered.”
“Chris, have you forgotten? Claire didn’t arrange any patrolling guards around the area.”
“Ah, I forgot!”
Claire was too conceited, so other than the necessary path to Iris’s room, she didn’t deploy personnel anywhere else, probably thinking that concentrating manpower would be better for using the human wave tactic, but she didn’t expect it to make things easier for ZunZun.
And also for Sato Kazuma.
“That’s how, after ZunZun took down those guards and knights, I used my Stealth skill to sneakily follow behind you, and then after encountering Mitsurugi, I hid in Iris’s bedroom ahead of time to wait for the right opportunity.”
The events that followed were clear.
Sato Kazuma jumped out at the last crucial moment to intercept, becoming last night’s sole MVP.
He was like an old-fashioned, scheming protagonist, letting the outside world fight fiercely until everyone’s brains were bashed out, while he hid in the most insidious corner, waiting for the opportunity to strike and snatch the final victory.
“Although I didn’t expect that you and Iris were in cahoots, and that you did this on purpose, but according to what you just said, no one besides you knows, and you can’t let anyone else know, right?”
Sato Kazuma said this out of the blue.
He didn’t want to admit it, but he was right.
Iris aside, ZunZun and Chris definitely couldn’t say it; otherwise, Claire would definitely fly into a rage.
“In other words!”
The corners of Sato Kazuma’s mouth curled into a sinister smile, and then he couldn’t help but laugh loudly, looking up to the sky.
“In a situation where I can’t explain the truth, I helped Iris—the royal princess—recover the necklace that was about to be stolen at the last moment; that’s an undeniable fact! Then, as the greatest contributor this time, I will definitely receive awards and rewards! I must move into the royal palace again and slap those nobles in the face! Haha, hahaha ————”
However—
Claire loudly declared, “Sato Kazuma! You are suspected of subverting the kingdom for trespassing into Princess Iris’s bedroom without permission, and you are now sentenced to treason! Death penalty! …Although I would like to say that, considering that you helped Princess Iris—the royal family—recover her reputation at the last moment, I will no longer pursue your mistakes! However, due to your dangerous actions, you are now ordered to leave the royal capital immediately!”
“—What a ripoff!”
Now, not to mention moving into the royal palace, he couldn’t even stay in the royal capital!
It was completely different from what he had imagined!